David and Goliath

Everybody likes the story. Little David against all odds, defeats a giant of a man, Goliath. We love it when the underdog comes out on top. Its a popular theme, in movies, sports, and yes, even politics. Perhaps the reason it is so popular is that so many of us view ourselves as "underdogs," or little guys, and it gives us hope that one day we will come out on top. Now hope is a good thing. Without it people cannot survive. However, we have missed the whole point of the story if we think this is about an underdog.

First, David was not an underdog, and he did not view himself in that way at all. When he stood before the doubtful King Saul, David was far from fearful or weak. He was more like a teenage boy, lacking proper restraint, and judgment. He had killed lions and bears with his own hands, and this Philistine would fall too. Sorry. David was no underdog in his own eyes, although others may view him as such. There were underdogs in the story though. They were the ones standing on the sidelines despairing, scoffing at young David, waiting for a real hero, and the king who sat in safety and sent a young boy to do what he was afraid to do himself. Those are the underdogs in this story.

David was different from the rest. What set him apart was not his strength, fighting skills, or even his experience defeating lions and bears. What distinguished David from the rest was his deep seated confidence in God. David was a man/boy of faith, and a model for all of us in this regard. His faith went beyond mere belief in God. David believed something about God, and this faith permeated his whole life, whether in the fields watching over sheep, or on the battlefield facing a giant. And it is this faith, what David believed about God, that set him apart from the rest of the army in his own day, and from the wannabe heroes, and arm chair quarter backs of today. Of course, David surely believed in God's power, and greatness, His holiness and righteousness, as do we. But David's extraordinary confidence, came from his belief in God's sovereignty and good will toward him and the nation of Israel. Beyond this, David understood himself to be a participant not a spectator in the economy of God's dominion. God's dominion is carried out by the hands of faithful men and women.

We pray "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done..." (Oh, Lord please send somebody) I doubt that David, was in the field one day tending his sheep, when God, "gave him a word " that he was to defeat Goliath. When the lion attacked his sheep, I doubt he took a moment to pray about what he should do in this situation. When he heard Goliath blaspheming the Lord, he knew what needed to be done. King Saul saw these as two entirely different genres. David saw them as one and the same. The God who helped him kill the lion and the bear, would help him defeat Goliath.
It was not an underdog that defeated a giant, it was the Lord's servant David, simply doing his duty, in concert with his Master.

Listen, we as the people of God, have got to stop reveling in our victimization. We are not victims, we are not underdogs. We are servants of the sovereign King of the universe, co-laboring with Him to achieve his Glory in the world. His power is not lessened but perfected in our weakness. Let us therefore take hold of each day, and with the confidence of David, engage our giants. Let us work in our portion of the field that God's will be done-on our watch.

The Economy of Ministry

This was a new one to me. A recent article on Fox News, cited the poor economy, and rocky employment environment, for a recent increase in enrollment in religious education. Pause. When I read this article I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. It could be that we are experiencing a revival of sorts. The more cynical side of me sees this as a bad omen, a sign that the gospel and ministerial vocations, have been so cheapened that they are viewed as career plan B. "If I can't make it into med school, I can always be a minister." I witnessed this first hand back in college--the student who cannot decide on a major, or cannot cut the academic rigor of his first choice, becomes a religion major.

Then there is the other side, that sees ministry as a lucrative opportunity in hard economic times. People give to the church, even when times are hard. Remember the widow's mite. In some peoples mind I'm sure that this makes ministry an attractive profession. I have to agree that the "opportunities" for service are endless. What ever might be your take on the situation, it seems evident that as a culture, religious careers, have displaced vocations. Compare this article with the fact of declining vocations in the Roman Catholic Church, and you will begin to see my point. What's the difference? Why is one growing and the other declining? It's the difference between "vocation," and career choice. We don't have much room for vocation in our church culture anymore. It's the idea that a person might be chosen, rather than choose. This little difference changes everything. For the person who is called, who receives a vocation, is under obligation, under orders. There is a cost, a sacrifice to be made, obedience fulfilled. It is not a simple matter to "change majors" if things don't seem to be working out. It doesn't matter how well the job pays, or what is happening in the economy. In some cases we who are under orders, have to work a second job, to fulfill our vocation. That is not an appealing proposition to many. Finally the ministerial vocation is a life long vocation, similar to marriage in that it is not to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly. But for those whom God has called it is a price we are more than willing to pay. The promises, the vows you make before God, witnessed by the congregation, and under the hand of your bishop are not a matter of convenience.

How many of these graduate students, pursing ministerial careers, would continue if they considered their vocation in this light?

Rainbows and Promises

I cannot see a rainbow and not be reminded of the promise that God made to Noah, to never again destroy the world with a flood. Everyone likes the promises of God. They encourage us and inspire us with hope for the future-- a future that is not yet. They are given to us in the time in between, the time we are living in. We have promise of everlasting life, that one day God will wipe every tear from our eyes and there will be no more death or sorrow or suffering. But that promise, is not fulfilled yet. Never the less, that promise has its desired effect when it inspires us with hope, and faith, when it encourages us and gives us strength to face the present difficulties.
"In this world, you will have trouble. But be of good cheer! I have overcome the world" --Jesus

On Relevence

It seems to be the new buzz word among church growth guru's these days. It is usually the reason given to justify innovations in the liturgy, for using contemporary music or dispensing with "formalities". It's also the other side of the criticism levied against the traditionalist--irrelevant. But the word seems to be badly misused in either case. In popular usage, no matter what it might mean really, practically it means familiar, or comfortable. Let's face it. Kneeling is uncomfortable business, so is reverence. Singing time worn hymns takes a bit of work. So nowadays, relevance translates into a cup of jo during worship where the minister wears sneakers and jeans and goes by "John." No Pastor John, or certainly not Father John. Such titles are irrelevant. I wonder though, if that is what seekers are looking for or is it what church leaders suppose they are looking for? Perhaps the most relevant question is, "Is that what we/they really need?"

I remember back in Seminary taking a class in cross cultural discipleship. We began with the premise that human beings are religious. This is not theory, its a fact. Even those who are atheists or agnostic, are none the less religious, or rather have religious behaviors. The secular person still reveres his or her weekend, vacation time, or even that one night a week when their favorite show is on TV. Mircea Eliade, Vic Turner and others point out that humans are religious because they need to be religious. Sacred time, sacred spaces serve as interruptions in the ongoing stream of the common or profane. They provide rhythm and order into what would otherwise be an endless chaotic stream of events. It makes me wonder. If a secular person, came to a church, on purpose, actually "seeking," what he or she would be looking for? More of the same? Another support group or affinity club? a coffee shop? Might they actually be looking for a sense of the sacred, the One who is wholly Other? Are they more likely to look for a place that looks like a sports arena or concert hall?

When its all said and done, we may find that the most relevant thing a church can do for the secular person, is be the Church unmixed, undiluted, and unapologetic for its "other-ness."

Child Training, part 3

Now we come down to it. Discipline. You don't have to look far to find lack of discipline in children and adults for that matter. Often aspiring young parents suppose that if they just discipline their kids they will turn out better. But this is only half true. Certainly, if we don't correct wrong behaviors we are in for trouble, but this is really only half of the story. Most the time when we see the word discipline we think, punishment or chastisement. But it is so much more than that. If you want to train a dog not to jump on people, correcting him whenever he jumps may work. However what if you want to train him to go fetch the newspaper? You have to show him what you want before you expect it of him. The same applies with children. Correction must always be coupled with instruction, and training. This truth may be one of the most dramatic insights that Mary and I came across when we were young parents. We applied it whenever we could. One example. We had church training sessions. We wanted them to know how to worship, when to sit quietly etc. But taking them to church is not effective because, you cannot instruct them or even correct them as needed in that environment with out disrupting the whole service. So we lined up chairs in our living room and had church practice. It was very effective. Be creative.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, you have to nurture a loving relationship with you child or children. It's not enough to be the "police" or probation officer. We have to be parents. The example Jesus sets for us is a model we need to follow. When Jesus wanted to make disciples, he didn't call them and then hand them an instruction manual, or a rule book. He called them to be with him. He taught them by his example, as well as explanations and demonstrations. A disciple is an apprentice, one studying to learn the trade of vocation. You are a grown up human being. Your children are novices. To apprentice your children to be godly men and women, your children need to be with you. You need to be with them. Yes, it complicates doing simple tasks. It will take more time if you explain to your child what you are doing and why. But the fruit of a real relationship with your children, far out weighs the extra time, or inconvenience it may cost. Its what your children need. They are persons, young, and immature (think of them as novice adults), but persons just the same. When we as parents begin to relate to our children as persons, involve them in "our" lives, and let them participate, the result is a wholesome relationship that will cover up for the many mistakes in parenting that you and I will make. Your relationship with your children will become the healthy context out of which meaningful instruction as well as correction will flow.

Basic Training (How do you do it? part 2)

I have never been in the military, but both my parents were, several of my cousins as well as some of my good friends have served. They all went through "Basic Training." The military is not like most other jobs, there is no entry level position, where you already know enough to fulfill your duties. At the top of the list of things men and women learn in Basic Training is to obey. We all understand the reasons too: order. In an egalitarian society, the idea of hierarchy doesn't get too much good press, but in the military, it is necessary to accomplish the intended purpose. In the Church, God established a hierarchy as well. What it means is that there is a defined order, an established chain of authority. Everyone has a place. The lines are clearly drawn with very little room for adjustment. So in basic training, recruits learn to obey their superiors.

The family is a lot like that. Not that the family is to be rigidly authoritarian, although the Bible does prescribe an order or hierarchy in the family. Family life is similar to basic training, in that children, as well as adults, need to be trained to obey. We all do. And just as learning to follow orders, prepares a person for a successful military experience, children learning to obey their parents prepares them for a fruitful and successful life in the world as well as the Kingdom of God.

I used the analogy of Basic training, because it is an image that even if we have never experienced it we understand the concept, and understand the reasons why. Training in the Family is just as important, perhaps more important for the same reasons. Its not just children that need trained, of course they do, but just as often parents need trained as well. When you are walking through the Walmart, and you come across a young mother with a screaming tyrant, demanding candy or a toy, its easy pass judgement, either on the child, depending upon how old he or she, or on the parent for allowing the child to get away with that kind of behavior. However the truth is that the cause is most likely generational, perhaps multi generational. Where did that young mother of father learn to train their children? Most of us learned our parenting skills or lack thereof from our parents' modeling. Perhaps we think they did a pretty good job raising us, so we do as they did as near as we can approximate it. Or maybe there is something we didn't like about the way we were raised. So we avoid that. "I'll not do that when I'm a parent." Perhaps you had horrible parents, and dysfunctional family relationships? What do you do then?

Do you see what I am getting at? How you train your children, will have far reaching effects. And if there is baggage that you carry from your child hood, if you are not careful and prayerful, the likeliness is that you will pass that on to your children. We all need some training, we all need growth in Godliness that we can pass on to our children. It has to begin with the parents. We have to be intentional in our training, conscious of those things we would like to do better, and those things we want to avoid. And recognize that we have much to learn about the whole process.

How Do You Do It?

This question ranks about number two of the three most frequently asked questions of parents who have more than three or four children. The first, of course is "Are they all yours?" and the third is "Are you having any more?" While all three questions are intriguing, its the second one that has my attention at the moment. It is symptomatic of a rather widespread malaise that has taken hold of our society. This question typically comes from somewhat exasperated parents of one or two children, and is usually couched in the credulous, as if to say we must be genetic “super parents” or at least weird if not freaky parents. It is actually a rhetorical question, for those who ask it rarely want an answer. It's just their way of saying two things: How really unusual they think we are, and that they don't think they could ever raise 8 or more children and they have no intentions of trying. They just want to survive the children they have. They feel really inadequate to raise the children they have and cannot imagine having a handful more. In their view, “it's not normal

When did having large families become abnormal? Believe it or not, this view is relatively new, originating in the 20^th century. Ask your grand parents, or maybe your great grand parents. So you respond, "But our lifestyle is so different then in those old days. Times have changed." Agreed. But having lost large families is not the point. We are in danger of losing all our families. Period. Our whole society, including even the Church has lost or at least forgotten the “Family.” This is the primary reason why large families seem so rare, and why parents of smaller families seem so exasperated, why so few people are willing to make choices in the best interests of their family. The issue is not the size of the family but the exasperation that is so common among parents.

The truth is we are not genetic super parents and we are not that unusual. I can prove it. If you are one of those exasperated parents reading this, I want to assure you, you can do it to if you really want to. I am not judging or being critical. Please hear me when I say I am trying to be as gentle as I can. There is a truth that you and much of our society has forgotten. There is another way. Parenting is not from outer space. It's God's plan, all the way back to the garden of Eden. We have our share of struggles; parenting is not easy. But it takes commitment to the task, commitment to your children. More important than discipline or training techniques is your relationship with your children, and to have a relationship with your children you have spend time with them, working together, playing together, sharing your life with them. This is why we chose to home school our children. It's also why Mary chose from the birth of Elizabeth to be a stay at home mother. It's why I went to great lengths to build a shop at home. Granted not everyone has the options that we have had. What I am saying is that we made decisions based not on the lifestyle we wanted to achieve but what would be best for raising our children. We have no regrets.

Now if you are thinking that we are just one such family in a million, you are wrong. In our church there are three other families that have 6 or more children. No they are not all home schooled. They are a mix of business owners farmers and blue collar workers. They, are well adjusted normal families and their children are very well behaved and civil. (their kids are probably better behaved than ours sometimes) My point is not to brag or boast. We have a long way to go, and we are far from perfect. What I really want you to begin to believe is that your family life can be good, you can have a good relationship with your kids, including teenagers. Your family can be a refuge for you and a source of great strength, joy and happiness, not to mention a whole lot of fun. But first you need to believe. I hope that our family and the other families like ours will provide the ground for that faith. Secondly, I want to encourage you to be willing to make some changes, some sacrifices for the sake of your children. Prayerfully consider what you can do, how you can adjust. You will not be disappointed. If this intrests you, stay tuned. I plan over the next few post to address some of the issues common to families and child training.